What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
-They're both meat substitutes.
What's the hardest part about anal sex?
-Having a cock repeatedly shoved in your ass.
What did the penis say to the condom?
-Cover me, I'm going in.
What happens when you make an Asian girl squirt?
-She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
What's long and hard and has cum in it?
What do a black guy and a long distance relationship have in common?
-They both don't work.
What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
- Good morning, ladies.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
-He only comes once a year.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
-Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me!
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?
-The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do a woman and a bar have in common?
-Liquor in the front, poker in the back.
How is life like a penis?
-Your girlfriend makes it hard.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
-They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
What did the O say to the Q?
-Dude, your dick’s hanging out.